When we see our parents we often think of secrets that have held their marriage for so long and strong. But the reality is there are no secrets they both are giving their best to keep up their marriage in the best possible way.
We will still be discussing some points that are non-negotiable to be carried for any marriage to be successful.
- Listen More: being a good listener is actually a quality that. To actually know your spouse along with your two ears you need to open your heart too. With time as your marriage grow you need to understand each other more, listening to each other more will help build understanding. Tune out of distractions. Find a quiet place to communicate. Turn your mobile phone off, or the ringer it down. Try avoiding any distractions in the background. Settle your little ones in another room if need be. Let your children know that mom and dad need some alone time to talk.
- Compromise? No, Negotiate: compromise is itself a negative work. We often hear everyone who is getting married this common advise of compromising. Why compromise when you both can sit and negotiate on particular things and sort out. Why should one person be suffering rather talk to each other? Negotiation feels more powerful and strong that also means both are participating equally to make unique life altogether. This mental satisfaction of not compromising will help you design better relationship with your partner.
- There Is No Winner: when a problem arises or you face any downfall in married life just hold each others hand no matter what happens. Remember It’s you and your partner vs the problem- not you vs your partner. We often forget the special time when we are in between the fight. Just sit and relax and try to remember all the promises you made together all the good time. Its human we always react to things in aggressive ways which we too often regret afterward. Just a thought that no one is the winner it is always you and your partner vs the bad situation you are into which you both have to come out together.
- The Way You Speak: so many times when talking in general terms you lead to an argument and the argument leads to fight in just matter of minutes. Because we often not discuss problems at the real-time when talk turns into a fight we remember all the little things that are in our mind that we ignored earlier or choose to accept the way it is. It is best to talk on real-time or if you still speak something meanwhile a fight just not say the way another person feels more defensive. That will not even bring a change in your partner. Just check your statements Use ‘’ I statement ‘’ instead of you. Using an “I” statement will express your emotions in a genuine way and allow your partner to respond constructively. I.e. Instead of “you don’t care, you’re inconsiderate. You never call or text me” try saying “when you don’t call or text me, I feel disconnected and lonely” The latter will be a welcome change.
- Get On the Same Page: Sharing the same values with your partner will no doubt set you both on the same page but many more things contribute to keeping you both on the same page. Long conversations of any situation that you can face in future or your partner can face in future. Listening to each other without judging each other would be the best part if in a real sense you face the same situation. Discuss more your kids their future what will be your retirement plans everything that you could.
I wholeheartedly hope above discussion will help you in any way keeping your relationship up longer and stronger. Just trust each other beside any advise you get if you both are loyal to each other trust nothing would shake your relationship. And more important is to keep sharing what helped you to save your marriage or things that changed your partner with us. Do leave your comment.